Another dear friend just told me her marriage is falling apart. Days like this I wonder why mine is the only marriage that seems solid.
We didn't do anything by the book (not The Book - I'm talking about the Oral Tradition passed down from one generation of know-it-all Christians to the next). We didn't date two years, stay engaged for one, or get married in the summer. We dated 2.5 months before he proposed and got married 7.5 months later in the middle of the winter. He wasn't a student at my private Christian school; in fact, he went to a *gasp* State School! Our parents were on different sides of a very heated denominational split. In short, the OT dictated that we should fail as soon as the honeymoon wore off.
Nope. Two-and-a-half years later, I still respect him as the best man I've ever met, and he finds fabulous ways to show his love for me every day. God has blessed our marriage, and I have never been more happy in my life!
So why is it that my friends who actually did play by the rules are having so many problems?! One is finalizing a divorce, one hasn't spoken to her husband in two weeks, and another is in marital counceling. It absolutely blows my mind. It's not that we haven't worked our butts off making our marriage what it is today (and are working it today, and will work on it tomorrow). I just have a hard time seeing why there isn't any honest advice out there.
Maybe the problem is that people aren't real. No one is willing to sit down with an engaged couple (better yet, a new couple who is beginning to think that marriage might be the end result of their relationship) and say, 'Listen. My wife and I have had a hard time. We had a big blow-up on the way to meet with you tonight. Marriage isn't easy. It won't solve any of your problems.' How many sermons have you heard where the pastor admitted to yelling at his wife during the week? How many couples in your church have asked you for prayer because they had a rough week with eachother? No one I know asks for help from their church until it is too late.
I don't really have any answers. I'm just hurt and confused for my friends. Marriage isn't easy. Why does everyone like to pretend like it is?
9 years ago
1 comment:
Amen sis! :)
In 3 weeks i'm doing a sermon all about how marriage won't complete you. I think our culture focuses on the love story and then leaves it at "they lived happily ever after." We need more story about that part! :) If it make you feel any better my wife and I are still excited about each other and our 3 year is on the 26th of this month.
Glad to hear your marriage is good! :)
Post a Comment