Marriage

Another dear friend just told me her marriage is falling apart. Days like this I wonder why mine is the only marriage that seems solid.

We didn't do anything by the book (not The Book - I'm talking about the Oral Tradition passed down from one generation of know-it-all Christians to the next). We didn't date two years, stay engaged for one, or get married in the summer. We dated 2.5 months before he proposed and got married 7.5 months later in the middle of the winter. He wasn't a student at my private Christian school; in fact, he went to a *gasp* State School! Our parents were on different sides of a very heated denominational split. In short, the OT dictated that we should fail as soon as the honeymoon wore off.

Nope. Two-and-a-half years later, I still respect him as the best man I've ever met, and he finds fabulous ways to show his love for me every day. God has blessed our marriage, and I have never been more happy in my life!

So why is it that my friends who actually did play by the rules are having so many problems?! One is finalizing a divorce, one hasn't spoken to her husband in two weeks, and another is in marital counceling. It absolutely blows my mind. It's not that we haven't worked our butts off making our marriage what it is today (and are working it today, and will work on it tomorrow). I just have a hard time seeing why there isn't any honest advice out there.

Maybe the problem is that people aren't real. No one is willing to sit down with an engaged couple (better yet, a new couple who is beginning to think that marriage might be the end result of their relationship) and say, 'Listen. My wife and I have had a hard time. We had a big blow-up on the way to meet with you tonight. Marriage isn't easy. It won't solve any of your problems.' How many sermons have you heard where the pastor admitted to yelling at his wife during the week? How many couples in your church have asked you for prayer because they had a rough week with eachother? No one I know asks for help from their church until it is too late.

I don't really have any answers. I'm just hurt and confused for my friends. Marriage isn't easy. Why does everyone like to pretend like it is?

No More BC For Me!

I am officially off of Birth Control. Which, I guess, makes me officially one of those crazy conspiracy theorists.

We quit chemical birth control and started using Naturally Family Planning (which my mom lovingly calls 'Being a Parent in 9 months flat') because I cannot convince myself that BC can't harm my pre-born children. If aspirin can hurt my baby, why couldn't an unnatural amount of hormones? I did a lot of research (at Biblically-based and NOT Biblically-based websites), and nothing I read convinced me that taking the Pill wouldn't hurt a fertilized egg...which is what I like to call 'a baby.'

A lot of research shows that BC won't stop the cell-division of a fertilized egg that has attached itself to the wall of the uterus. Okay, some research has shown that some BC isn't bad at that point. But I define life as a fertilized egg, regardless of where that human life is. I couldn't find much evidence for BC not affecting a not-yet attached (albeit tiny) baby. So, as a Christian someday-mother who loves her pre-born children and is physically sickened by the thought of any form of abortion, how could I take a pill that I cannot feel 100% convinced about?

I asked my doctor about this a few months ago. A woman at church had been talking about birth control not being good for babies, and it really upset me...since I took BC religiously at 9:00 PM. every. single. day. I sat my Dr. down and said, 'This is how I define life: a fertilized egg, regardless of where or how far along he/she is. Be brutally honest with me - is there any evidence that taking this pill could negatively affect that life?' She said 'no.' I repeated myself. She said 'no' again, and with a tone of voice that said, 'Oh gosh, one of those Pro Lifers again. They sure are annoying. Conspiracy Theorists are sooo crazy.' I figured, 'Hey, this woman has been in the medical profession since before I could tie my shoes. She probably knows more than me.' And I'm sure she does... but I will never again trust a word that comes out of her mouth, because she wasn't completely up-front with me. She didn't preface her statement with, 'Some people think...' She just conveyed that, by taking the medicine she was giving me, I could be completely relaxed in knowing that my future children would be the ONLY children God had ever created in me. Or at least that the Pill would have nothing to do with any miscarriages I had.

So here I am. I could be a mom right now and not even know it. I thought typing that would scare the crap out of me, but it didn't. We have completely put our trust in God. Well...and in Natural Family Planning. We aren't really in a position where trying for a baby would be a wise financial plan, but hey - my husband was created to be a daddy. Anyhow, I wanted to put this out there for anyone who still reads this thing. I'm not going to call you a horrible sinner for taking BC... all I want is for you to research it for yourself with an open mind and a prayerful heart.

Why I hate abortion.

I have been holding off on this topic for a long time, but I think it is time to go full-force: My husband could have (and, by some standards, should have) been aborted.

Christine was 17 when she found out she was pregnant. She went to a very strict Catholic school, and he was the eldest of 5 brothers. He was already heavily dependent on alcohol and he was probably a drug user by that point, too. Three strikes, already: she was too young to deal with the consequences of parenthood, he was a role model for his younger brothers, and the baby might be deformed from his dad's drug and alcohol usage. Not to mention that in the early 80's, no one was standing outside of Planned Parenthood and preaching about God's love for the unborn - there wasn't enough publicity about abortion yet. My own mom took a friend to an abortion clinic in the late 70's because she had no clue what it really was (they left as soon as they understood). It makes me sick to think that this is the exact circumstance that pro-choice activists would promote as the ideal situation for a woman to 'take control of her own body' and have an abortion. What sick-o conservative would want this poor teenage woman to have to deal with the consequences of one night of fun?
Me. I would. Chris and Paul Sr. married and had two more children. It didn't end up all rosy - Paul Sr. was a great daddy, but he still had to battle his addictions; and when they divorced a few years later Chris had to support the children on her own. The consequences of that 'one night of fun' still impact the family today, every day. Paul passed away a few years ago from complications of a lifetime of alcohol abuse. Chris still deals with side-affects from the daily stress of her 20's.
Paul II is the best thing that ever happened to me. My mother-in-law and I don't have the best relationship in the world, but I am daily indebted to her for choosing life. If you are considering abortion as a way to end your problems, please - don't just think about your life. Think about your growing child's life. Think about all the thousands of people he or she will touch as he or she grows up. Think about your child's children, and how happy you will be to see them sitting on their daddy's knee in 30 years.

Think about the people like me, and how radically different my life would be if that scared 17 year old girl hadn't chosen life in the spring of '82.

Does 'Illegal' Mean Anything to You?

http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/feb/09/16-illegals-sue-arizona-rancher/

This guy has a ranch on the Mexico/Arizona border. Arizona has the Castle Doctrine. When he finds illegal (read that again: illegal) aliens on his property, he doesn't shoot them; he rounds them up and turns them in to the authorities. Over 12,000 since 1998. The illegal aliens he hasn't gotten to in time have destroyed his fences and equipment, killed his cattled, and broken in to his home. They have left trails of trash [human feces, plastic bottles (some of the cattle have died from ingesting the bottles), used diapers, drug paraphanalia] up to 10 inches deep.

Now he is being sued by 16 illegal aliens for violating their civil rights. Not for killing anyone or physically harming them. For defending his American property from people who had no legal (or other) right to be there. Oh yeah, and 'emotional distress.' All to the tune of $32 million.

Your thoughts?

Less thank two weeks. Thanks, American Majority.

• President-elect Obama has said that his proposed stimulus legislation will create or save 3 million jobs. This means that this legislation will spend about $275,000 per job. The average household income in the U.S. is $42,000 a year.

• This bill provides enough spending to give every man, woman, and child in America $2,700.

• This bill will cost each and every household $6,700 in additional debt, paid for by our children and grandchildren.

Just some fun facts. Thank you, Glennbeck.com.

God, give me grace.

I'm really not excited about these next four years. Honestly, I wish our president the best. For the good of our nation, I hope he doesn't fall into his old, polar-liberal ways. I hope awesome things are accomplished. I don't foresee that actually happening, but a girl can hope.
I'm tired of pretending I'm okay with liberalism. I have great friends who currently (proudly) consider themselves to be liberal. I say currently because I have a feeling they're going to grow up eventually and realize that being an adult means taking responsibility for your actions, not relying so heavily on the government to bail you out (I'm not talking about on a corporate level), and sometimes it even means assisting other people in not relying on DC to meet all their needs/wants. You can tell a parent really loves her son when she boots his butt out of the house and makes him look for a job. 'It's time to grow up,' she'll tell him. 'Go get a job. I'm not going to be your enabler anymore. I love you enough to be tough on you right now.' It's not cruel to make someone stop receiving welfare checks after 10 (50?) years. It's giving that person the push to get out there and do something when they clearly didn't have the initiative to do it on their own.
I look forward to the day when these liberal friends of mine wake up and go, 'CRAP! I've really screwed myself over. I'm 35, and I'm paying so many taxes that I can't move up anymore! I'll be stuck right here for the rest of my life.' Isn't the American dream to be better off (financially, emotionally, spiritually, etc) than the previous generation? How on EARTH will that happen now? I guess it's okay to give up on the American dream when, suddenly, everything 'American' is considered bad? I don't want my friends to feel pain and bitterness when they realize they've ruined their children's chance at happiness, but I'm looking forward to having them cross back over to conservativism - even if that means waiting for it all to fall apart. When it falls apart, that's when people will re-evaluate where we are. Go back to their roots. Remember that the Truth really does matter.
I don't want conservativism to be a dirty word anymore. I don't even like the term 'compassionate conservativism,' because that implies that I, as a conservative, am not generally compassionate. Isn't that the ground-work of being morally based? Love for others? Not in the conservativism we've seen for the past few years. There has been nothing 'conservative' about the last few candidates the Republican party has paraded in front of us. Maybe they vote conservatively, but I want someone who lives conservatively. Guiliani? I would have voted for him just to feel safe at night. I'm a little afraid Biden was being a bit prophetic. But the guy didn't exactly carry his conservative over to his personal/romantic life. McCain? He didn't seem to care too much about abortion, either way. I'm a huge fan of Palin, but I don't mind waiting a few years to get to know her better. Am I being too picky? Perhaps. Or maybe we've just given in, little by little, to this liberal way of thought that 'You stay out of my life, I'll stay out of yours - just give the government all your money, and we'll be fine. Also, hand over your morals, 'cause you won't be needing those anymore.'
I'm kind of glad we have 4 years to regroup. McCain just wasn't going to cut it. I don't know who decided he could run on the Republican ticket - they should be kicked out. Maybe 3 years from now, we'll learn that the Republican party has either disolved or gone back to being the voice of conservatism. If one of those two things fails to happen, I'll never again tell anyone I'm voting R-MO.

In your face, liberalism

Today, I sent out an e-mail to all my clients inviting them to the office Christmas open house. Yes, I said Christmas. Not Holiday Event, not Winter Celebration, not even Kwanzaa/Hanukkah/christmas Get-together. The subject line was actually 'Christmas Open House,' and I said Christmas at least two times in the message. I figured that's what my office calendar said, and that's what I'm going to be celebrating.
Why do we shy away from what the majority has embraced? I wouldn't be offended if I lived in Israel and someone wished me a great Hanukkah. I wouldn't even reply with 'And a Merry Christmas to you, too!' THAT might be offensive. I'm pretty dang proud of my country, and I'm concerned with people being embarrassed by our heritage of Christianity. When I have my very own office, I plan on putting up some sort of baby-Jesus something-or-another at Christmastime. And some sort of resurrection something-or-another at Easter-time. Isn't that the purpose of the holiday? If you have a problem with the holiday, you should probably go to work that day. That isn't hate-mongering...that's logic. How can you justify being offended by the name of Jesus, and then take a day (or 5) off work in His Name? That makes no sense to me.
When did we get to the point when Christmas (er, Winter-time) Concerts couldn't mention Jesus, but spent 30 minutes on global warming?
I'm home schooling.